Cheaters of All Kinds Part I

We all know one.

That friend who always has a story that doesn’t quite add up. The coworker who takes credit and somehow never gets blamed. The partner who looks you in the eye and tells you something you later find out was never true. They walk through life looking perfect, sounding confident, and leaving behind a pile of confused, hurt people who keep asking, “How do they sleep at night?”

Here’s the thing nobody tells you.

They sleep great.

Some people are just born to cheat. It’s not about one bad decision. It’s not about being tempted one time. It’s who they are, deep down in their bones. They have this feeling inside that they deserve everything without earning anything. They will lie to their spouse or partner. They will ghost their best friend. They will sit down with a blank application form, type in a job they never had and a degree they never earned, and hit submit without flinching.

They know it’s a lie. They type it anyway.

And the craziest part? They actually feel good about it.

Studies show that when most people cheat, their stomach knots up. Their conscience bothers them. But these people? Cheating gives them a high. They feel smarter than everyone else. They think they beat the system. And because it feels good, they keep doing it over and over again, their whole life long.

Why They Are This Way?

I am going to hit the nail on the head with my research and learned… it is a childhood thing. A lot of these people were raised being told they were special. Not in a healthy way, like every kid should be loved. I mean the kind of special where rules didn’t apply. They never had to wait their turn. They never faced real consequences. Their parents or another family member bailed them out every single time.

So now they’re adults, but inside they still believe they’re above the rules. The speed limit is for other people. Fidelity is for other people. Telling the truth on an application is for other people. They genuinely don’t see why they should have to struggle when they can just take a shortcut.

And here’s what makes it so hard to spot them at first.
They are charming. They are good looking. They walk into a room like they own it. Everybody wants to be around them. You feel special just because they looked in your direction. That’s not an accident. They have been practicing this their whole life.

Cheating Is Not Situational. It Is Who They Are.

Pay close attention to this.

Someone who lies on a resume will also lie about where they were last night. Someone who cheats on their spouse will also cheat at cards. Someone who steals credit at work will also “forget” you while you wait at the appointment or date-night. It is not about the situation. It is not about the stakes. It is about who they are.

Dishonesty is their default setting. They don’t turn it off for certain people or certain situations. The same switch that lets them falsify an application is the same switch that lets them gaslight a partner. The same muscle they use to rewrite their work history is the same muscle they use to rewrite your arguments so you look crazy and they look innocent.

They are masters at hiding secrets behind charm, hiding betrayal behind generosity, hiding rot behind warmth, all with a smile. Until that one day. Not when they confess—they never confess. Not when guilt finally catches up—it never does. But when the evidence stacks too high, when the story stops adding up, when someone finally connects the dots they worked so hard to keep scattered. They are caught. Not because they slipped. Not because they admitted anything. But because even the best webs have weak threads, and even the best actors forget their lines eventually. And still, even then, with the proof sitting there on the table, they will look you in the eye and act like the real victim is them.

The Moment It All Cracks

Eventually it always comes apart. Not because they slip up—they are actually very careful. It comes apart because lies are heavy. You can only carry so many before your back breaks.

Maybe the background check comes back. Maybe the person they lied about runs into you at the grocery store. Maybe you make one phone call they didn’t expect you to make.

Maybe you just finally connect the dots.

And suddenly there it is. The lie, exposed. The application, flagged. The timeline that doesn’t match. The story that was never true.

You think now they will drop the act. You think, okay, this is it. The proof is right here. They can’t talk their way out of a printed document, a signed statement, a date stamp.

OOOOOOh, you sweet summer child . . .

The Flip

Watch closely. This is where their real talent emerges.

The Exhaustion

Here is what it feels like to confront one of them.

You come in with facts. Hard facts. Dates. Screenshots. Documents. You feel ready. You feel strong.

Twenty minutes later you are defending yourself. Explaining why you checked. Maybe apologizing for not trusting them. Wondering if maybe you are too suspicious. Maybe questioning yourself and begin having self-doubt…

How did that happen? How did the person holding the lie end up on trial?

This is not an accident. This is their gift.

They have been escaping consequences their whole life by turning the mirror back on the person holding it. They are not sorry. They are not even listening. They are just waiting for you to tire yourself out so they can go back to whatever they were doing.

What You Want vs. What You Get

You want an apology. Not even a big one. Just “I lied and I shouldn’t have.” Just “I made a choice and it was wrong.” Just three seconds of honesty.

You will wait forever.

They cannot give it. Not because they are evil. Because they genuinely do not see themselves as the kind of person who does wrong things. Wrong things happen to them. Other people wrong them.

They are always the victim in every story they tell themselves at night.

So when you stand there with your evidence, you are not a truth-teller. You are an attacker. You are persecuting an innocent person. They have to fight back. It’s self-defense.

How to Spot Them Before You Get Hurt

Here is what I have learned the hard way. Watch how they talk about other people. Not how they talk to you. How they talk about the people who aren’t in the room.

If they call every ex (or friend) “crazy.” If every former boss was an “idiot.” If every friend who cut them off was a “fking moron”, that is not bad luck. That is a pattern. You will be the crazy ex next year or sooner. You will be the fking moron friend next month or at this very minute.

Watch how they handle rules. Not just big rules. Little ones. Do they sneak into the express lane with too many items? Do they “forget” to mention the waiter undercharged them? Do they ignore listening to instructions that are crucial to the topic(s)? These aren’t cute quirks. They are showing you exactly how their brain works.

Watch how they respond when you share good news. Do they celebrate you? Or do they deflect, downplay, compete? If your win requires you to comfort them, you are dealing with someone who views your life as a threat to theirs

And here is the biggest one. Watch how you feel after you spend time with them.
Do you feel seen, heard, and valued? Or do you feel drained, confused, like you just performed for an audience of one? That exhaustion? That little knot in your stomach? That is your gut trying to warn you.

Listen to it.

Read more on how to walk away… Part II