Triangulation, Collusion, and Walking Away

Triangulation occurs when one partner avoids direct accountability by pulling in a third party, most destructively, an adult child – to form a united front against the other partner.

Bottling Up the Unfamiliar: Finding Pure Joy and Keeping It

That was me a couple of mornings ago. Out in the open field, I stood up through the sunroof of the car, arms wide open to the sky, letting the warm air wash over my face with my camera in hand. For over six miles, I rode like that, completely immersed in the moment – feeling lighter, happier, and more free than I have in a very long time.

The Art of the Step Back: Navigating Your Journey

When you are standing just inches away from a canvas, all you can see is the wet paint, the individual strokes, and the immediate texture. Up close, it’s easy to get lost in the details or feel overwhelmed by a single misplaced line. It is only when you take ten steps back that the true composition reveals itself.

Meet Donna & Debbie Lim

Yet, we refused to be broken. We moved forward with a determination that became the bedrock of every
venture we would ever pursue, learning firsthand that the only limits that exist are the ones you place on
yourself. We chose a life path centered entirely on health, positivity, and uplifting others, proving that you
can rise above any circumstance if you have faith and the right person by your side.

Surviving the Unthinkable

There is no handbook for surviving the unthinkable from someone who was supposed to have your back. If the internet’s advice makes you feel guilty for having a heart, throw the advice away. You get to decide what your boundaries look like. Whether you walk away forever, or choose to communicate from a safe distance, the only correct choice is the one that allows you to look in the mirror and know you are protecting your own peace, dignity, and future.

The Master Deceiver

We have all met someone who is a master of rewriting reality. They don’t always tell flat-out, obvious lies right to your face – at least not at first. Instead, they are artists of the “half-truth.” They intentionally leave out key factors, leave gaps in the details, and embellish the parts that make them look good. They do it so smoothly, and with so much confidence, that people around them are either completely fooled, too intimidated to stand up to them, or just too exhausted to care. But a funny thing happens as time goes on.

The Turning Point

Perhaps it is instilled in me because I do not know the difference from love or hate, fact or fake, or lies and trust. All I know is my deep gut feeling—something that got me to survive my entire life…… I know who I am deep down inside. I am not a liar. I am an honest person. I try to live by the 10 Commandments. I try to do good for all, including those that treated me so badly my entire life. I don’t take life for granted. On the other hand, I do not trust people. I love animals so much that I feel more for how they look into my eyes than people who can look directly in my eyes with lies, deceit, and secrets.

The Friend Letter

Why am I telling this story now? I thought you were over it all? Why now?
Because being “over it” doesn’t mean the truth has to stay buried. It’s not about being stuck in the past; it’s about finally being allowed to speak the truth in the present. I’m telling it now because silence is exactly what let the gaslighting happen for so long. For 34 years, I played my part, but I’m not an actress in his play anymore. I’m telling it now because I finally have the clarity to see it for what it was, and the strength to say it out loud without fear. This isn’t about looking back; it’s about clearing the air so I can move forward with a clean slate.

 Not waiting until May

I will continue to be open about who I am. No one can take that away from me. Of course I have flaws like everyone else. Of course I need room for improvement. But dang it, I think my siblings and I did pretty dang well considering what we endured since childhood. I am in this next chapter of my life now, and I’m claiming the best years starting today.
I’m not waiting until May. I’m writing today.

Let it Go

I realized that chasing accountability from someone who refuses responsibility was keeping me trapped. I walked away with things I promised I would never share—not for them, but for me. It was my dignity over my need to be vindicated.
Now, I let go of controlling their behavior, their narrative, or who they recruit to side with them. I can’t control a rollercoaster I’m no longer riding. I know what I know. I saw what I saw. And sometimes letting go is the only way to be free.