Debbie Lim
I am a simple person. I do not require much. Because of my silly and carefree nature, I am also guarded and I do not trust people that much. I do watch people very closely. I read their body language and look into their eyes. Because of my past, I am able to read people quite well. This is why I love nature so much. This is why I love my dog so much. Unconditional love from my dog and with nature, you get what you see and feel. Nothing is fake, superficial, or secretive.
What I write reflects my personal experiences, memories, and emotional journey. It is my truth as I lived it and is not intended as a factual report about any other person. My journals were stolen and the ones that I did find, I had to burn in the fire so that those would not be stolen as well. No one can change my narrative while I write on my own website. This is why I now have my journal online.
The comment section has been disabled in my Journal. If you would like to contact me, please do so by emailing me at lim761@gmail.com.
Disclaimer: This is my personal story, told from my heart and memory. Names, locations, and specific details have been altered to protect privacy. This is my perspective, not a statement of fact about anyone else. Please read my full disclaimer.
Not waiting until May
So, I’m starting now. Not with a label. Just with this: You don’t have to be in love with someone to still be fighting their shadow. You don’t have to explain your whole history to deserve compassion.
I am still in recovery mode. Something that took my entire life—since birth—doesn’t get fixed easily. I am a work in progress.
I’m not waiting until May.
I’m writing today.
Let it Go
I realized that chasing accountability from someone who refuses responsibility was keeping me trapped. I walked away with things I promised I would never share—not for them, but for me. It was my dignity over my need to be vindicated.
Now, I let go of controlling their behavior, their narrative, or who they recruit to side with them. I can’t control a rollercoaster I’m no longer riding. I know what I know. I saw what I saw. And sometimes letting go is the only way to be free.
What I Thought Was Love
Other women will probably only meet the charming, guitar-playing, life-of-the-party version. They won’t get the version I lived with behind closed doors. That’s not my burden anymore. I know the secret. I know the pattern. And I am no longer available for it. We are old now, where she will never get to the extent of knowing him behind closed doors. I was only someone he could manipulate, and now he has no one else to do that to.
Dear Person I Never Truly Knew
Because of keeping my mouth shut about what happened behind closed doors…
Because of how I was (and still am) called cruel names and told how stupid I am…
Because you stole my journals and tried to find something inside them to hurt me with… I stayed small so you could feel big.
But those days are over.
I Did It Twice
For decades, I was told I was “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” “too dramatic,” “too much.” For decades, I believed I needed someone else to speak for me…. But when the moment came – when I had to choose between shrinking back into the woman he trained me to be or stepping forward as the woman I was becoming – I chose myself.
Boomers vs Millennials
I made a choice for my well-being, just like she did. We both walked away. And maybe that’s the saddest part—not that one of us left, but that staying became impossible for both of us.
If you’re a Boomer parent navigating estrangement—whether you were left or you chose to step back—you’re not alone. It’s okay to protect your peace. It’s okay to love someone from a distance when being close hurts too much. And it’s okay to not have the answers. Most of us don’t.
The First Morning Without the Weight: My Valentine to Myself
And this morning, I woke up happy. Happy with a tiny dog on my chest, looking up at me with sleepy eyes before choosing to trust me enough to drift back to sleep. I am mourning the woman I used to be, the one who accepted the crumbs for all those years. But I am wildly, desperately in love with who I am today. The woman who is finally the priority.
Cheaters of All Kinds Part I
They are masters at hiding secrets behind charm, hiding betrayal behind generosity, hiding rot behind warmth, all with a smile. Until that one day. Not when they confess—they never confess. Not when guilt finally catches up—it never does. But when the evidence stacks too high, when the story stops adding up, when someone finally connects the dots they worked so hard to keep scattered. They are caught. Not because they slipped. Not because they admitted anything. But because even the best webs have weak threads…
Cheaters of All Kinds Part 2
Why We Keep Falling For Them
Be honest with yourself. If a kind, stable, slightly boring person walked up to you at a party, would you notice them? Or would your eyes be glued to the loud, beautiful, magnetic one across the room? We are drawn to these people because they are exciting. They make us feel like we won a prize. But here’s the truth they don’t want you to know.
The patterns don’t lie, trust them
Behind closed doors, the playful charm he showed the world was replaced by verbal cruelty. He frequently addressed me with demeaning titles such as “Complete Zero,” “Fcking Idiot,” and “Fcking Moron,” often mocking my intelligence. This behavior continued until the end of our relationship; one of his final messages to me was the derogatory remark, “What the f*ck… you act like you just got off the boat from China.”
The Thousand Small Cuts
Trying to be partners with someone who still operates from a place of secrecy and blame is like trying to build a house on quicksand. My peaceful intention was sincere, but it was no match for his unchanged character.
The Lim Twins Legacy: My Journey with Donna
A story of two halves: For decades, The Lim Twins have been an influential force in fitness, media, and photography. Discover how Donna and her sister built their legacy on an unbreakable bond and a shared mission to inspire.
Two Years Getting to know Myself
In the past two years, I’ve discovered the life I thought I knew was a lie. I’d been living blindly, hoping against all odds that things would improve. But with each passing day, I’ve found strength within myself. I’ve cried, battled silently, and endured countless moments of pain. Yet, I’ve refused to let that pain break me.
Piecing Together the Truth: A Puzzle of Secrets
It’s a shocking revelation – those deceptive puzzle pieces were cleverly inserted into your life, right under your nose. You were unaware of the manipulation, assuming each piece fit seamlessly into the bigger picture. But now, you see the truth.
Rare Encounter… Albino White-tailed Deer
I was blessed to witness two Albino White-tailed Deer! I heard about the one in our community for a few years, but never had the chance to meet her. July 18, 2025 and again on August 3, 2025, I had a strong urge to meet her. I can’t explain the feeling, but I had an urge that I needed to bring my camera and go look her. Sure enough, I literally walked into her.
A Little Bit of Heaven
…As I gazed up at those stunning flowers, I felt a deep conviction that God was telling me everything would be okay. I truly believed it. What struck me was that my yard was the only one with these flowering vines.
I Learned the Hard Way
My story is an emotional account of my experiences with infidelity, trauma, and the challenges of rebuilding my life.
CERT Member
Last weekend, I was honored to be named the 2024-2025 Farmington Hills Artist in Residence…
This weekend, Donna and I are now part of the Livonia’s Community Emergency Response Team (CERT).
Artist in Residence Award Winner
I’m thrilled and humbled to announce I’m the 2024-2025 Farmington Hills Artist in Residence! Heartfelt thanks to everyone who has contributed to this exciting new chapter in my artistic journey!
Here’s to an inspiring year ahead!
2024-2025 Artist Award Winner!
“On behalf of the Farmington Hills Cultural Arts Division and the Farmington Area Arts Commission, we are thrilled to announce that you have been selected as the 2024-2025 Artist in Residence! This is an exceptional honor and testament to your remarkable talent and dedication to the arts.”